Yes. No. Definitely. Absolutely not, it’s a way of life.
These are my answers to the question above: Is wellbeing hard work?
Because I have gone through stages of my life where every one of these answers was the correct one.
I believe the answer depends on where you are in your own wellbeing journey.
Take me, for example, ten years ago. The answer was definitely yes. I was in pain, I was stressed out, I didn’t really know where to start and what to start with. I knew I had to do something to feel well again but I had no idea how to do that. So, I started – slowly, frustratingly, with bad days and good days, with a little bit of help and on my own. I started. I had to change … I had to change my thoughts, my routine and my attitude to life.
And I had to slow down.
Slowing down is hard work – that’s a contradiction in itself, but I know this will resonate with many people. And for me, yes, that was really hard work.
Firstly, because the brain likes familiarity. If it’s done it a hundred times before, whether it’s good or bad, it becomes a habit and it’s easy. I heard someone on YouTube the other day calling the human brain “that machine that hasn’t had an upgrade in a few hundred years”, and it’s true. Our brain still works (almost) the way it did for our ancestors. We understand it better, yes, but it still works in the same way. Habit = easy, change = hard. Especially if we try to change too much too fast. The brain doesn’t care about the latest social media advice, the celebrity tips on podcasts or the latest book called “How to be happy”. All it cares about is you and your safety.
For years, I started my morning with a coffee whilst checking my work email. My brain was not going to take lightly to changing that routine to coffee and sitting still and meditating. That took time and yes, it was hard work. Because when you try to change something you’ve been habitually doing for years, your brain and body will resist. Resistance is hard work. Rewiring the brain takes time.
Secondly, because of the vast amount of information out there. Because of the social media posts, podcasts and books. It’s simply too much. You don’t know where to start, you don’t know what would work for you, by the time you think you’ve got a good habit going, there’s another trend coming out that will “absolutely guarantee” your wellbeing. So, you start again.
But gently, with patience and self-compassion and with common sense, yes, that thing that has been long forgotten in our world, you find what works for you.
Maybe with the support of someone walking alongside you for a while. Maybe on your own. There is no right or wrong way. What matters is that you find what works for you and that it becomes your way of life.
I feel the same about my short meditation in the morning. It’s part of my life now. My body and soul need it and want it, and when, for whatever reason I don’t do it, I miss it.
Ten years on, I am now at my fourth answer – Is Wellbeing Hard Work?
Absolutely not, it’s a way of life.
Will it stay like this forever? I am pretty sure the answer to that is also: absolutely not.
Life happens, circumstances change, I am sure I will have to learn new ways again – and that’s ok.
Because I now know that wellbeing is not a final destination. It’s not somewhere we arrive and stay.
My wellbeing is a journey, and I will happily be on it forever.